Thursday, January 28, 2010

Sacrifices...

What are you willing to sacrifice to make your life better?

As mothers we face judgments on a daily basis, we face inner personal struggles. We question our decisions, wondering if we are in fact making the best choices for our family, for ourselves. Or at lease I do!

Keeping all the balls in the air is hard...

I recently had a review for my "day job" and the review reflected poorly on my inability to be more flexible. Flexible to work varying hours if need be, to work nights sometimes, or weekends. The overall review was fabulous, but this one aspect bugs me to the core. C.O.R.E.

I am a mother, I sacrifice 35 hrs a week for this job. I miss out on many "firsts" that I will never get back, many stories are told second hand. Many falls, and booboo's are soothed by someone other then me. I gave birth to this child and someone else is telling me about new things she has done. This crushes me, really it does.

I make this sacrifice so that we are financially stable, and can afford to give Charlotte a better life. HOWEVER, I am unable to give more of my time. Because of this, my career suffers.

I ask you how is this so. At what point can we give no more, at what point are we giving enough? Finding this balance is hard, expectations are high.

Have any of you dealt with this? Please share...

ps. Don't forget about our Valentine's Day Goodies! Pin It

15 comments:

  1. Every day of my life. I travel back and forth to DC everyday and my supervisor and I were at odds about how I could not give more time to my employment. He finally figured out that I was giving all that I can give without sacraficing my time with my child and husband. Once he realize I wasn't going to budge on that, our relationship got much better. To me there is no choice. I will always choose my family and the full sacrafice will never be on them. Yes I miss a lot of time with my child by commuting everyday but it just makes the time that we spend together that more special. I live for those momments and make the most out of them.

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  2. EE- WOW DC is FAR! What a crazy commute for sure! Thanks for your input, and I agree that each moment must be made special for sure!

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  3. OMG!!!! Its like we are living the same life!! I was blessed to stay home for 11 months with my lil boy, and then the ecomony turned, and i had to go back to work, i was not happy about it, but i was willing to sacrifice to provide for my family, to lift the stress that my husband was going through, and to be team player. I was not about to let my husband extend his work hrs to 15 a day, just so i could stay home. We became a team when we got married, and so it was my turn at bat. I too, feel so bad when i walk out the door, and say good bye to my munchkin and know that he will be going to Gymboree with someone else, or he will be doing arts and crafts with someone else, and I will be missing all of it as i sit behind my desk. BUT I remember that b/c i am working, we can live in a beautiful home, I can continue to buy so many fun new things for him, and we can take a vacation which is much needed.
    It def hard to be a working wife and mom, to come home, make dinner, start laundry, pick up toys, play, etc, etc. But that just means we are SUPER MOMS and WIFES and we can handle it. Just think one day we will be able to enjoy every moment in our childs life and all our hard work will pay off, and we can look bad and be proud of what we accomplished. <3

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  4. TuTu- thanks for sharing, truly appreciate it!

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  5. I'm so sorry, Jess. I know this economy has a huge affect on us all - and to feel that with all the time you are putting into your job ... to be reviewed and have a little area to be worked on, it is so frustrating. I get that.

    I'm not in your same position, but I do have a huge heart for working Mom's. My cousin, http://mylipsinstitches.blogspot.com/ has many of your same woe's. Check her out - I know she can be a source of comfort for you!

    xoxo

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  6. Thanks Tracy! Will check out her blog!

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  7. Jessica~
    First let me say, how blown away I am with your talent AND your ability to balance a day job, a family and have this incredible business PBD of yours! You should be overly proud of yourself!

    I, too, have been in the situation of balancing a corporate job with motherhood. With my former job (just recently quit due to a move for my hubbs job)there was always added pressures of having a ridiculously large territory which required me to be have one week of overnites every 2 weeks, evening dinner programs, "volunteering" to be a product expert for the district, on the track for district trainer, etc....if you are NOT doing all these things, then you're not 100% committed to your career and there are plenty of people who would give their right arm to take your place, which I was reminded of on a continuing basis. I know your stuggle all too well. Some days being much better than others!
    Just keep your chin up and remember why and who you are doing this for...your family!! You can do it! I have no doubt in my mind with your unbelievable talent it's only a short matter of time, when PBD will be a full-time gig! You are beautiful and amazing! (my sister and I tell each other this when we're having a tough time, so thought you deserved it too!)
    Cari

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  8. Aw sweet lady... I am blessed that I can stay at home right now but it wasn't always like that. It is a constant internal struggle... you are doing a GREAT job to give your sweet girl all that you can. REmember that you are an amazing mother... always remember that!

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  9. Before kiddos, I was a FT supervisor and treating therapist at a prominent rehab hospital (I'm a physical therapist). After the birth of my 1st son, I cut back to PT but remained in my position...same work, less time. I could still stay late and pick up extra hours when needed bcs. DH was able to pick up our angel from daycare. Unfortunately, with the birth of #2 and a promotion for Hubbs, I had to become more fixed in my schedule since he could no longer pick up the kiddos. The loss of flexibility in the workplace can be huge. My happy ending came in the form of a job transfer for Hubbs. Because I had to resign anyway, we decided to try having me at home (preggers with #3). Now that we have 4 little ones, I feel blessed to have a thriving home biz and the ability to stay with the kids. We've had to cut back...a lot, but it's been worth it for us. Hang in there, Jessica. Your pot of gold is waiting for you...I've seen your work and felt your positive spirit! :)

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  10. What a great post and honest reach out sweetie. All we can ever do is find a balance, but it can never be perfect. As long as your doing your own review and know that you are doing all you can is all that matters. Another work might be more understanding of this. Trust me our agency has a work life policy although some late nights and logging in later in the evening helps. Do not be hard on yourself!

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  11. Wow ladies, thanks so much for all your input!!! Seriously, I so appreciate all your thoughts, oppinions, and kind words!

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  12. This is a great post! Last fall, I left my "day job" to pursue a new career in real estate---in conjunction w/ my candle biz. In my previous job, I had to prepare annual reviews for the people on my team and I HATED IT! The people on my team gave so much of their time and energy to a company that ended up outsourcing the majority of their jobs...I think about how many family dinners, birthday parties, etc we missed to get the job done and it feels like such a wasted effort. My career change has caused our family to make some financial sacrifices. However, for the most part, my time has become my own. It is an amazing feeling! In the end, whatever you choose to give is enough! A family is a blessing and they should not have to be the last item on our "chore list". Much love to all you hard working moms out there! :)

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  13. Starwick- thanks so much for sharing your experiece! Gives me hope!

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  14. Wow, I am a senior mom, all the kids are grown but I feel for my granddaughters who have to juggle home, work and their childcare. I was lucky to be a stay at home mom. Today with the economy there is little choice for the young mothers of today. I admire your strength and I know you will be rewarded in some way for all your efforts. Every moment you spend with your child is a gift. Hang in there MOMS

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  15. Wow! This is exactly what I'm going through now...which is why it took me so long to get back to you! I recently went back to work (my day job) after having my second baby girl in September. This was A LOT harder than going back after my 1st for many reasons. Day job is not all that great anymore, launching my own design and event planning company this year and I just want to be home with my babies! Working moms suffer guilt all the way around...We want to be every woman, including working mom providing for our families and the mom that never misses a beat with our children. IT'S HARD! YOU ARE DOING ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS... So like other's have said... this will be your full time gig soon! Me on the other hand, I'm just starting out but I'm willing to work hard to get there! :) Hang in there and just remember you are not alone!

    Wow - that was therapeutic for me too!

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Thanks for leaving some sweet PBD love!